Politicians, spouses (and mistresses) ecstatic to be in Brisbane for G20: twelve headlines

Jaymee Paxton

Fake Eiffel tower brings real tear to Francoise Holland’s eye. Putin fits all mistresses plus an eager Tony Abbott into single Brisbane Eye carriage. Spouses attend romantic meal at Hog’s Breath Café. Sit at separate table while their husbands hold rational, economic discussions. Michelle Obama ‘super-pumped’ to go to DFO. Tactful Australian newpapers rank G20 wives in order of best-to-worst dressed. Sunrise poll lists best places for Vladimir Putin to take his shirt off: 1. Lone Pine Koala Sanctuary 2. On the prow of a City Cat 3. Sizzler 4. Story Bridge Adventure Climb Wives of G20 leaders enjoy special reading of Zigzag Street on half-renovated verandah. Putin takes Obama girls to Dreamworld, tries to ride Bengal tiger. Newly separated French President almost desperate enough to go to Ric’s. Bearded barista struggles to fit Cristina Fernández de Kirchner’s name on coffee cup. First ladies visit cancer kids at the Royal Childrens Hospital—‘Wife Activity’ organisers commended on nailing the right mix of apolitical and gravely serious. Wives take part in a number of ceremonial activities, including visits to Stefan.

Jaymee Paxton lives in Brisbane and may work at Bumf.

(10/11/14 #55)

Illustration by Matt Mawson.